Recently I got three reminders: 1) Everyday items like a dishwasher work hard for us and it’s easy to take that for granted, 2) Whether we have a working dishwasher or not, it affects our lives and the choices we make, and 3) Mess creates stress. The circumstances of our lives affect our lives. Obviously. But sometimes we forget how even small disturbances can create chaos in our lives.
I’m sure you guessed it. Our dishwasher broke. It has been more than 15 years since I had to live without a dishwasher (not counting camping trips and other travel). I realize I’m fortunate. The fact is I did not acknowledge quite how much I relied on a working dishwasher.
As a certified KonMari consultant I only have dishes that spark joy. Oh, how beautiful the dishes are! But while I was scrubbing the dishes day after day, and it seemed like the mountain of dirty dishes would never end, I started paying attention to factors I didn’t need to pay attention to when I had a working dishwasher. The plates are awfully heavy and we have more than we need. I decided to let go of some.
I realized if I would live without a dishwasher I would keep fewer dishes because no matter how much joy the dishes themselves bring me it doesn’t override the dissatisfaction of washing them by hand. It’s not that I hate washing dishes by hand but rather I hate washing dishes by hand for four people three times a day. I would rather regain the time. Without a dishwasher each of my family members would get to choose a plate, a bowl, a water glass and a mug. Few wine glasses and extra plates for guests, and we would be all set. We would be perfectly fine with less.
This is just a mundane example of how our circumstances affect the choices we make, or should make, in life. Without a dishwasher we’re better off with fewer plates. Without any babies in the house we’re better off donating our used baby items to families that need them. Without a big walking closet we’re better off with a manageable wardrobe that fits in the space we have well and serves our current lifestyle. We have to balance the joy of these items with the joy of saved time, energy and space. The joy of peace of mind when we’re not stressed about a messy closet or a room. We have to consider reality.
Because mess creates stress. I personally had forgotten how much stress it creates in me. Dishes piling up used to be a frequent state at our home (even with a working dishwasher!). I didn’t realize how much stress it caused me and so I came up with excuses of why cleaning it up wasn’t important enough. Or secretly hoping my husband would do it. We also lacked a system of who is going to do the dishes and when.
Over the last five years, I have decluttered (and decluttered some more!), gained understanding how unfinished housework stresses us out and thus created systems to tackle housework as it arises. But then the system was disrupted by a broken dishwasher and I was once again surrounded by piles of dirty dishes. Now I did realize how much stress it caused me. How it affected my mood. How much better I felt when I just grabbed the dish brush and began to work.
We might dream of having kids who don’t make such a mess. We might dream of having the time to use all the hobby gear we bought. We might dream of having more money in our bank account. But we live in the now, whatever the situation is, and have to work with our circumstances. Let’s make this moment spark joy.
I dedicate this post to my dishwasher and washing machine (please don’t break!), with gratitude. Thank you.