“Things that bring back memories,...are not the place for beginners to start.” Marie Kondo
Sentimental items, the category you want to save for last when tidying up.
Not just because it’s the hardest category and you want to practice making decisions with easier items, like socks or duplicate measuring cups, but also because the sentimental items are one-of-a-kind and can’t be replaced.
You must be sure you want to let them go. It takes some courage.
For these reasons, Marie Kondo designed the KonMari Method®️ to follow a certain order where sentimental items come last:
What Are Sentimental Items?
Sentimental items are photos, diaries, and old love letters. But sentimental items can be anything, really.
A piece of clothing can be sentimental. A book can be sentimental. A piece of paper can be sentimental. A cup can be sentimental.
So sentimental items can turn up at any point during the tidying process. When they do, you want to set them aside while going through the categories of clothing, books, paper, and komono (miscellaneous).
When you’re done with all the non-sentimental items, come back to the sentimental items with confidence. You can do it!
Should I Save It?
A question or a comment frequently comes up when working with my clients: ”I’m saving it for my child.” or “I don’t really have any use for it but I think I should keep it in case my kids want it when they are grown?”
Let’s ask ourselves, would we have liked to inherit a similar item? How many items? Would you prefer you were asked what you wanted or just given these things?
The thing about sentimental items is that they are extremely personal and subjective.
The item may be very dear to you because it brings a certain memory to your mind but it may not hold any meaning to anyone else (because they all have their own personal memories!).
If your children are old enough for you to ask their opinion, ask.
If your children are not old enough for you to ask their opinion, it will be extremely difficult, if not impossible, for you to know what will be meaningful for them years or decades from now.
When my grandparents passed away, my dad asked me if I’d like to inherit a piece of jewelry that belonged to my grandmother. It was probably the most valuable piece of jewelry she owned. But I didn’t remember my grandmother ever wearing it and my dad confessed she probably never did. Presumably, she never felt like the occasion was quite right for it. We decided to sell the necklace as it held no meaning or memories of her to any of her relatives.
Storing Sentimental Items At Parent's Home
Tidying, and the good feelings it creates, are contagious.
I have many clients who at some point during their own tidying process have perhaps unconsciously spread the joy of tidying to their parents who then start sending my clients all kinds of childhood memorabilia.
Some receive these and fondly remember the good times before letting the item go one last time, some receive items that bring up no memories.
And this brings up another important topic regarding sentimental items: many of us have sentimental items from our childhood that our parents are storing.
If this is the case, make a trip down the memory lane when you next visit your parents. It’s only fair that we all take care of our own belongings, no matter where they physically reside.
"No matter how wonderful things used to be, we cannot live in the past.
The joy and excitement we feel here and now are more important." Marie Kondo
How To Let Go
Sometimes it can be helpful to honor the sentimental item and the memory it brings one last time before letting it go for good. We can:
Take a photo (but be mindful of the digital clutter this can create).
Use the item one last time by wearing a piece of clothing, drinking a cup of tea from the mug, or reading the letter one last time with intention and then releasing it from your life.
Tell someone the story of the item.
Burn photos, old letters, or other sentimental papers. This may feel appropriate if you want to avoid these ending up in the landfill.
Use salt as a purifier as Marie does.
And always remember to let go with gratitude.
The Life-Changing Magic of Putting Your Past In Order
There is no need to let go of all sentimental items. Please keep what truly touches your heart and sparks joy!
But as Patrick Lencioni says, “If everything is important, then nothing is.”
When you have less, even of the sentimental items, we can better take care of them and truly appreciate the items and the memories they bring.
It may seem scary to go through the sentimental items but we have to trust ourselves to be able to make the right decisions because after going through all the other categories we certainly can.
Sometimes a break is needed to gather extra courage. That is what I did. But don’t give your fear too much time to gather. It would be a shame to not finish!
Going through the sentimental items will be the final teaching moment that will change your life.
“By handling each sentimental item and deciding what to discard, you process your past.
If you just stow these things away…, your past will become a weight that holds you back and keeps you from living in the here and now.
To put your things in order means to put your past in order, too.”
Marie Kondo