When we hear the word ‘self-care’ we often think of spa treatments. But what is self-care on a daily basis?
Many of us feel we have too many things that need to get done and not enough time. That’s why I believe decluttering is the ultimate self-care!
When we remove the excess our homes become easier to manage and our minds become clearer, making it easier for us to focus on what truly matters.
Here are some of my favorite ways to take care of myself daily:
Morning
Morning can be a stressful time of the day. Just getting everyone out the door involves quite many steps and any added things to consider - ‘Bring flowers to school!, ‘Pack sports gear! - can feel overwhelming.
In moments like that, I like to remind myself to breathe and do one thing at a time. That’s all we can do. And funnily enough, slowing down often helps when speed first seems to be required.
Of course, it helps when we’ve been proactive the day before and bought those flowers and packed the sports gear.
We also need to feel ready for the day and that’s where the daily self-care comes in.
What each of us needs to do to feel ready for whatever the day might bring, differs but most of us benefit from taking some time to gather ourselves.
I like to wake up at the same time every weekday. I used to wake up when my kids would wake me up because I figured that was plenty early enough (one of my kids is an early riser). But this meant I had no time for myself. Now I wake myself up just 15 minutes earlier and take that time for myself.
My morning ritual consists of the following:
Say good morning to my spouse
Go to the bathroom and get myself ready
Get dressed
Open the curtains
Open the window to let fresh air in and listen to the birds
Make the bed
Write five-minute journal
To have myself ready for the day before I open myself up for anyone else’s needs is a daily self-care that I practice.
Day
For our days to run smoothly we need to plan ahead.
For many of us, this means we have to consider not just our schedules but those of other family members as well. When signing kids up for hobbies, for example, we should consider not just their wish but also how it will affect the rest of the family (Is another sibling waiting on the sidelines, unhappily? Does it mean dinner is always rushed as no one had time to prepare it? etc.). Similarly, if we have a spouse whose work schedule is not flexible or who travels a lot for work, our family might need even more buffer to not run into panic mode.
We need to schedule regular breaks into our days, weeks, months, and years so that we can all be the best version of ourselves.
Lunch is the most common break we all take every day. But there’s a difference between sitting by your laptop to mindlessly eat your lunch and sitting down at the table to eat properly without distractions. Leave the internet, don’t play a podcast, don’t flip through a magazine: just concentrate on the food.
It is amazing how grounding even just a ten-minute break can be if you concentrate on your meal and leave the distractions.
I like to take lunch breaks outside. Even if I need to wear my down jacket to comfortably sit outside, I will. Fresh air and the sounds of nature (even in the city!) are calming and invigorating.
Another break during the day I always take is an afternoon tea break. I’ve taught my kids this is my time. If I have a hot cup of tea in front of me it means I can not be disturbed. Does my five-year-old still ask me to read a book while I’m on my break? Yes, most days she does. I ask her to wait, and most days she does. I’ve learned to value my quiet times so that others know to respect them too.
Other ways I like to take care of myself are exercising; calling friends and family; and making sure I get some quiet time whether that is during a car ride home or while chopping vegetables for dinner.
I also want to point out that productivity is rewarding too and we want to get things done! We can’t truly enjoy ourselves if our self-care is procrastination in disguise, if we didn’t do what we told ourselves we would do. Doing the work when it’s time to do the work is self-care that allows us to relax when it’s time to relax.
Night
Nighttime rituals are a perfect way to signal our bodies that we’re winding down to go to sleep. That it’s okay relax.
My nighttime routine consists of:
Easy yoga practice
Short meditation
Journaling or writing my thoughts on paper
Having a cup of chamomile tea with my husband
Listing three things I'm grateful for that day
These are my favorite ways to wind down at night. I don’t always do all of the first three things but rather choose 1-to 3 of them based on what my body and mind need that day. Though I always have a cup of tea with my husband if we’re both at home and I always list three things I'm grateful for.
Most nights I prefer to avoid screens an hour before bedtime but sometimes what is needed is entertainment and then I’ll watch a movie, or maybe a stand-up comedy show.
A key part of taking care of myself is going to bed at the same time every day. Sometimes this is hard but the next morning I’m always happy I did.
Are there ever exceptions? Of course!
There are times we wake up and are not feeling too well. There are days when we’re working an unusual schedule in an unusual location and we need to get creative with finding ways to take breaks. There are times when we get to go out and celebrate until the wee hours!
The point is to intentionally look at our days and adjust how we spend them in small, manageable ways to make our days, weeks, and years better.
“People need to relax, but if all you do is sit on the beach, it gets old.
People find meaning in work, but if all you do is work, it gets exhausting.”
James Clear Newsletter 5/9/24