However it began, most of us would agree that kids are currently surrounded by too many toys. Well-meaning relatives buy toys as gifts to see the delight on our children’s faces. Well-meaning friends pass along toys. Well-meaning parents buy toys that they hope will be educational or at the very least entertain our children long enough. If we’re not careful, we will end up with a mountain of toys that will take over our house, and everyone living in it.
WHY HAVE FEWER TOYS?
More choices are not always better. It can be the opposite. It can lead to decision fatigue even in adults. If you feel like you can’t decide what to wear when you open your closet in the morning, imagine what your child must be feeling if faced by a closet, a room, or even multiple rooms full of toys. Overwhelmed. Children aren’t always able to communicate this overwhelm clearly (and frankly, many of us adults are not always any better).
According to studies*, if children have fewer toys, they play longer with them. A single toy will hold their attention longer if there are only a few others to choose from. Despite, or because of, an overabundance of toys children lack perseverance and get frustrated quickly.
When kids have fewer toys they take better care of them. If you have a box full of toy cars it’s not a big deal to destroy or lose a couple. But if you only have a couple to begin with you will naturally be more mindful about how you treat them.
Many parents first get frustrated with toys because it seems like they are everywhere (like they are) and it seems like the kids are unable to take care of them (which they are). In my personal experience, small children can only handle 1-3 small, precise requests at any given time. The request “Put your toys back, please” is too vague. “Put all the balls back in the basket, please” is more manageable at least for my kids. But they can only handle 1-3 of such requests before they lose their attention. So if there is too much, it is simply too much for them to handle. And unless you want to spend your day picking up hundreds of plastic pieces of the floor then it’s time to simplify.
HOW TO LET GO OF EXTRA TOYS?
Now that we have established that fewer toys are more beneficial to our children (and us!), we are left to wonder how do we let go of all the extra toys?
There are two ways to go about this. Either you do it with your kids or without them. Marie Kondo recommends always include children, even if they are as young as 2-3 years old. If your child is older, definitely include them. But for younger children, I would divide the work in two. First, do a sweep on your own and remove any toys that you know your children don’t really care about or that are broken and can’t be fixed (or you don’t want to fix). If there are toys that you’re not sure of, you can box them up and put them out of sight. If your child asks for them you can still bring them back. But don’t be afraid to let go of toys that don’t add value to your family life!
You know what works best for your child. You know your child. Trust that instinct.
However, I would argue that many children have so many toys it is unreasonable to ask them to go through them. One of the main reasons you want to declutter toys in the first place is to decrease the overwhelm and decision fatigue. In the majority of the cases, it’s not the kids who bought the toys and brought them home. It’s us, adults. We are the ones who buy gifts for kids, we are the ones who purchase party favors (a term I had never encountered before moving to the US), we are the ones who give in and buy little something from the store when our kids’ beg us even though we know it will not hold their attention for long because why not, it was only $4.99.
Then we are also the ones who need to take the responsibility to sort the toy chaos.
TYPES OF TOYS TO LET GO
First of all, when decluttering your child’s toys always carefully consider what they like to play with. Don’t throw away your kid’s favorite toys! If you’re not sure what your child mostly plays with, keep an eye on it first for a week or two, to get a better idea.
Secondly, make sure the toys are age-appropriate. Are there still baby toys lying around? Remove them. Was your 3 year old gifted a Lego set that says “7+”? Either store it for the future or regift it to an older child. Either way, remove from the current toy selection your toddler faces on a daily basis.
Thirdly, consider how the toys affect your family life. Are there toys that make too much noise? Toys that are always out of batteries when your child would actually want to play with them? Toys that have too many pieces to pick up and thus they get lost (or worse, swollen by a little sister)? It is all about finding the right balance. You have to consider each toy and ask if the joy it brings to your child outweighs the displeasure it brings you or other family members.
Finally, do values check. Has your child ever received toys that force an image or gender role that you don’t want to reinforce? Stand up to your values and remove the toy. Even if it seems like every other seven-year-old has some violent movie character toy doesn’t mean your child has to. If your child is not too attached to it you may be able to do this without too much noise. Otherwise use this as an opportunity to talk to your child about your family values.
During all this remember the facts. Fewer toys equal happier and more imaginative kids that are able to concentrate for longer periods of time. Now that sounds like a gift worth giving.
* Resources and further reading:
Dauch, C., Imwalle, M., Ocasio, B., and Metz, A. (2018). The influence of the number of toys in the environment on toddlers’ play.